Dear Caring Carol,
I just found out that that a boy that went to school with my son died in an act of violence. While the boys were not particularly close, with all the different school fundraisers and functions, I got to know the parents. While I would not normally need advice on what to say in a sympathy card, the fact that he was killed in a criminal act has me puzzled as to what to say. I really need some advice on this.
Kara in Danville, PA
Dear Kara,
Don’t be confused. Express your sympathies the same way you would for anyone who has experienced the loss of a child. Now more than ever they need the support of friends and family, and expressing your true and sincere condolences with a card is more than appropriate.
You don’t need to make mention of the circumstances surrounding their child’s death, nor should you. They are already keenly aware of what has happened, and a reminder is unnecessary. All you need to do is offer your support.
Caring Carol
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Expressing your true feelings on a sympathy card regarding the loss of someone else child can be calming it means that you care, that you’re there regardless of the circumstances that they are facing, and that you’re surely understand them in their difficult time of sorrow. The act of expressing your thoughts in a sympathy card can go a long way…..and make a huge impact on a person’s life, and in a positive way to help them through the process of healing.
Isn’t the sympathy message already printed inside the card? I don’t remember ever reading a sympathy card that didn’t express condolences in a simple, direct and appropriate manner. Don’t worry yourself about what to say regarding circumstances that led to the death. The feelings you want to express are already printed inside the card. Just sign your name and say a prayer for the deceased and be confident that your heartfelt message is appreciated.
Whether or not there is already a note written inside the card, I think it’s still nice and appropriate to write something short yourself. It shows that you truly are thinking about them…even more than sending a card does.